MEET CARMEN MARIE
On October 25, 2012 we went in for what was supposed to be a routine 20-week ultrasound for our second baby, due in March. We were interrupted mid-ultrasound by my OBGYN who delivered the bad news: Our baby was not healthy… at all. The baby had fluid in its stomach and brain, and its arms and legs weren’t as long as they should be. Arrangements were quickly made for a level II ultrasound with a perinatologist first thing the next morning.The appointment with the perinatologist confirmed our worst fears. Our baby was suffering from hydrops (fluid in the brain, around the heart/lungs, and in the stomach), underdeveloped limbs, a slow heartbeat, and not enough amniotic fluid surrounding the baby to support it. Our baby’s condition was deemed “not compatible with life” and we were told she would not make it to term, let alone 4 more weeks. Blood tests and an amniocentesis revealed that the cause was a primary Cytomegalovirus (CMV) infection that I had contracted during the pregnancy and passed onto the baby. But even before we had gotten those test results, we were told that essentially the only course of “treatment” would be to terminate the pregnancy due to the severity of the baby’s condition. We, however, chose to see each day we were given with our baby as a gift, if only just a few more hours to spend with her.
At the time, I started a Caring Bridge site (archived on this site) documenting Carmen Marie’s journey to Heaven, accepting and honoring it while continuing to find strength in our Lord and pray for a miracle. As I updated family and friends via the site, I also to took a leap of faith and shared the letters I was writing almost daily to Carmen. In sharing her story with others, I was blown away by the outpouring of love and support we would receive and the impact our little girl would have on those who read about her.
Shortly after we found out she was sick, we learned she had passed away while I was still carrying her. She was stillborn on November 13, 2012 at 5:07 pm. But Carmen Marie is not the baby we “lost,” she is the daughter who will always be a very real part of our family, even if we were blessed to have her with us here for only a fleeting moment.
CUPCAKES FOR CARMEN
As her first birthday approached, James and I discussed how we would celebrate her memory. We have always been open about our experience, and wanted to continue to share her with those around us while also making a positive impact to pay forward all of the joy Carmen Marie has brought to our life. With her birthday falling shortly before the start of the holiday season, and my love of parties and making cupcakes, it was decided: we would host a birthday party for Carmen and donate all of her “presents” to Toys for Tots. And that is how Cupcakes for Carmen began.
That first year we just invited close friends and family. Over the years we have grown Cupcakes for Carmen to include our whole community, including friends and family that may not live nearby via our online registries, collecting and donating more than $38,500 in Carmen’s memory! I can’t even begin to express the deep gratitude I have for the generosity of everyone who has contributed over the years. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to everyone who has been a part of celebrating our little girl!