Dear Carmen Marie,
Even as your body continues to rest inside me, and though your soul rests with the Lord in Heaven, my heart aches for you. My arms miss the baby who I will never be able to rock to sleep. My ears miss the tiny voice I will never hear cry. My eyes miss the little girl who I will never see grow up to be a beautiful young lady.
Like I told your daddy this morning at the ultrasound, we did know this was coming but I think I hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. I just wish we had more time. For what, I’m not sure. Because all that would have meant is prolonging the ever-devastating effects of the virus, though I hope that you never felt pain from it. But even if you did, I know that you no longer suffer in your Heavenly Father’s arms– and in that I find comfort.
I am at a loss for words as the waves of grief overtake my ability to form sentences and paragraphs. I hope to be able to continue writing to you. But for now, all I can say is I love you. We love you. Thank you for all of the joy you have given us. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Love,
Mama
“Meanwhile, all the people were wailing and mourning for her. “Stop wailing,” Jesus said. “She is not dead but asleep.” Luke 8:52
“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die” John 11:25