Dear Carmen,
Your mama’s light flickered and faded for awhile. Finding motivation has been tough lately as daily responsibilities and losses weigh heavily on my heart. It was admittedly difficult to gather the same eager joy I’ve savored around your birthday in years past. Thoughts of “What’s the point?” and “Would anyone even want to come?” dulled my sense of enthusiasm.
I failed to mail out physical invitations to your birthday party. I was uncharacteristically quiet on social media. I even failed to make so much as a facebook event. Many friends who we’ve celebrated with so many times before apologized for not having the date saved or even realizing that your party was happening this year. And honestly, who could blame them?
But I suppose that was never really the point, was it? The party? Because regardless of whatever is happening here on earth your birthday happens each year in Heaven. Even though we had less guests this year, less cupcakes, less gifts, your ever-present radiance still pierces the darkest of times and continues to light the way for us to make a difference in whatever way we can.
You continue to inspire such great acts of kindness and generosity it leaves me in speechless awe. This year it came in the form of one little girl who is the same age as you – just 8 years old! One of your sister’s gymnastics teammates had won a team fundraising contest and was awarded a gift card for her efforts. And that sweet girl turned around and used her gift card to purchase your birthday presents. So, because of you and this girl, another child out there will be getting Christmas presents this year they may not have gotten otherwise. The thought brings tears to my eyes; it really is just like Saint Mother Teresa said, “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” I can see how very true that is now.
Thank you for teaching me that. I love you.