I told you today was going to be a happy day, baby!
First, if you are ever worried about your silly mama, just know that your big brother is doing an excellent job taking care of me. Tommy knows just how to make me feel better, whether it’s the fact that he has finally started to call me mama (melts my heart) or his hilarious goofiness and adorable laugh… or that sometimes he’s just naughty enough to keep me on my toes and distracted from our situation. 🙂 I know you two would have been such good friends.
He has a funny way of saying hi to you, too. Did you know that? Sometimes, usually when I’m not expecting it, Tommy looks up at me and he reaches out and pokes my belly button with a big grin on his face and we both start giggling. I have to admit that, before, I hated having an “outie” because I was pregnant for silly vain reasons but now I’m so glad that I do.
Mama got the phone call she had been waiting for, too! They’ve ruled out a couple possible causes for how you’re doing, but there are still a million other causes they’re still looking into. But that’s not the exciting part. More importantly… the happiest part of the day… We found out that you are a girl! A beautiful, precious baby girl. My heart is bursting with love and joy for perfect little you. I wish you had more room in there, because I’m sure you’d be turning pirouettes and practicing your grand battements if you could… and maybe a hair flip or two just like your mama did on the Wolves court, before she became the old mama she is now. Just keeping it real, baby boo. 😉
I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that it hurts my heart a little to think of all the dance recitals I won’t get to watch you in, and so so many other things. One of the times I started crying in church on Sunday was because a teeny tiny newborn started crying a few pews behind us and it dawned on me that I won’t ever get to hear your voice like that. But I’m trying very hard not to dwell on these thoughts, and instead concentrate on the things you are able to share with me– right now. Like how you kicked me a few times today! Which is more than usual for you, and I treasure each and every time you reassure me that you’re still here. So but you go ahead and kick me whenever you feel like it– just don’t tell your brother I told you it was okay to hit and kick mama. 🙂
The best part about learning you’re our little girl is that we were finally able to give you a name! Your mama and daddy are not the type to “go public” with baby names (we even kept your brother’s gender a secret before he was born!), but in this case you are too special to keep it a secret. We wanted to pick out the perfect name for you– one that was full of meaning and love. So you are named after your tia abuela (your great aunt) and your abuelita (your great great grandma). Their names both reference a representation of the Virgin Mary/a patron saint in Peru, whose feast day is in the month we found out we were pregnant with you. I should also mention that while your middle name specifically is an English variation of your tia abuela and abuelita’s middle names, it also is “nod” to your mama’s middle name, and you also share it with your siti (grandma Beth).
Whew. That’s a big enough etymology lesson for now! Anyway, you’ll have to forgive me if it takes me awhile to get used to calling you by your name, because we’ve just been calling you “baby” for the past 5 months. (I had the same problem after your brother was born… he was probably a couple months old before calling him Tommy came naturally!) But don’t worry. I’ll get the hang of it. I promise.
Sweet dreams, Carmen Marie! Mama and Daddy love you!
Love,
Mama
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” Jeremiah 1:5